Keepsakes for the Grieving Motherby Elizabeth MacDonald
Not every baby lives. Not every hand is held. Not every pair of lips are kissed. Too many mothers understand this grief. Too many mothers are expected to let go and move on before they are ready. There are no rules to loss; there are no rules to heartache.
Losing a child you will never meet, or one you did not have enough time with, it can trigger emotions you did not know you had. A miscarriage occurs with 1 in every 3 pregnancies. Whether your friends are talking about it or not, it is happening around you – or to you, but yet, it is more proper to sweep it under the rug than shout it from the roof top.
My heart was ripped from my chest during the 10-11th week of my 4th pregnancy. I had 3 glorious pregnancies and births, resulting in 3 blonde-headed babes running around me. But this one was not meant to reach my arms. I hadn’t even shared the news with that many people yet. But there I was, on Mother’s Day, laboring in my bathroom as I passed the tissue that once held the heartbeat of my baby.
This happens to mothers every single day. A piece of their hearts are ripped from them, and a future that was envisioned is demolished. A heart that beat is now gone, and only tears can be heard in its place.
I’m writing this to tell you that you are not alone. You deserve to grieve in any and every way you desire. Time will help… rainbow babies are life-altering, but not always the answer. Some mothers need to make peace and always remember the one they lost. After my loss, I scoured the internet for the perfect ‘thing’ to remember our angel. In doing so, I created a list that has helped quite a few friends remember their angels as well.
Keepsakes for the Grieving Mother
As the wind blows and the chimes ding, you will be reminded of the soul who is still with you. Your heart will always remember, and the music will remind you to smile.
While hanging stockings every year, there will be one missing, but no one will truly feel it but you. Time will help heal this yearning, but instead of seeing the mantle as a puzzle missing its piece, choose to hang an ornament that signifies the life you created.
Whether or not you have a recording of your angel’s heartbeat, these keepsakes are worth treasuring. I have one with a recording of a song on it because we didn’t record the heartbeat during the pregnancy we lost. I also made sure to record my next baby at the first appointment. I needed to hear it repeatedly, just in case.
You can choose a small heart, angel, or arrow to wear close to your heart each day. Strangers don’t need to know the meaning, but you will.
Beautiful stones placed around a garden will bring a sense of happiness and beauty to an area that is full of life.
These take my breath away. I cannot look through them without crying, and I cannot wait until mine arrives.
I still have heartache over our loss years ago. I wish the mothers of all the angel babies peace and comfort as you journey through life knowing that someday you may kiss that precious child you created. But until then, I hope you find the perfect keepsake to treasure throughout this beautiful, messy world.