Overcoming Gender Disappointment
Whether you are secretly sad, or you are openly upset, gender disappointment is real.
Everyone dreams of a healthy pregnancy and a baby to hold and cuddle – but sometimes, sometimes the dream is more specific. There may be this burning desire to care for and have one gender over the other. With most women, they refuse to admit that this feeling exists. With some women it truly does not exist. But it is possible; it is real. Gender disappointment can happen to any mother during any pregnancy.
Family members, friends, even strangers may feel the need to chime in about your pregnancy.
‘Oh, another boy? Sorry!’
How to get over gender disappointment
Finding out the gender.
When a specific gender is wanted so badly, finding out will allow for all of the emotions to be experienced prior to the baby’s arrival.
Admitting you are disappointed.
Grieving the loss of a baby that never existed.
This step cannot be completed if you do not admit to the disappointment first. It sounds ridiculous to grieve something that never was a reality; especially when there is so much to celebrate. But grief is strange like that; it needs time and healing before joy can take over. Personally, I looked through my boxes of baby girl clothes, cried, and went for a run. I had to let go of my favorite girl name and the tiny tea party plans. I had to say good bye to the unmade memories and start dreaming of new ones.
Naming the baby.
Once your baby has a name, you start to make peace with the gender. Include him/her in your daily conversations and future plans.
Realizing this baby is yours.
This baby is growing perfectly, healthy. He or she is yours. You will soon hold, squeeze, and soak this baby in.
Making a list of everything wonderful.
Stop thinking about all the reasons you didn't want this gender. Flip the table and give yourself a purpose in raising this gender.
Shopping.
Retail therapy helps.
Picture life together.
S thinking about family trips and picturing your baby running around.
Giving birth.
Once this baby was in your arms, everything else melts away. Your heart grows as your family grows. You will have happy tears.