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Home / Blog / When You Know Your Baby Will Not Survive
birth
infant loss
Pregnancy
pregnancy loss
what should I do when my baby won't live

When You Know Your Baby Will Not Survive

Elizabeth MacDonald

Aug 19, 2019
by Elizabeth MacDonald
When You Know Your Baby Will Not Survive

The statistics are eye-opening, but yet no mother believes it can happen to her. There is too much to fear, so instead, we overlook any chances that we could be the one in four who loses her baby. There are, however, so many mothers who cannot overlook their chances. Some women learn that their babies will not survive pregnancy. Maybe they will miscarry quickly, or perhaps they may carry and give birth at full term but not take their angels home.

If you are one of these mothers, one who will not see her baby grow, my heart and love pour to you. Chromosomal abnormalities, pockets in the brain, and hundreds of other fatal diagnoses are being learned about through the advancement of medical technology. Sometimes there is no medical explanation. While some will argue that knowing your baby will pass away is too much heartache to handle, mothers who have lived or are living it may say just how grateful they are to cherish these moments and not take them for granted. My eyes are full and tears are falling as I weed through the writings out there on this topic.

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Medically speaking, we are well ahead of where we are at for standard of care for the families living this nightmare. Several perinatal hospice locations do exist, but not nearly enough. There are support groups, but again, not enough. This blog that I write - I write to educate, inform, spread love, encouragement, happiness, and hope. Sometimes, though, my emotions can overtake me. I was speaking to my dear friend who lost her baby girl, Mercy, during the third trimester. As we spoke, I started thinking about all the ways parents may be able to treasure their babies who are gone too soon. (Many of these photos are from Mercy's birth.)

My Baby's Heartbeat Bear was created for parents to hold their babies' heartbeats forever, and in some situations, it is truly unmeasurable the amount of importance this stuffed animal can have. The impact our product can have on a family is priceless. We have more recently began reaching to families experiencing loss, in hopes that we may provide some comfort. Please help us reach more families. Share this blog, give a Heartbeat Animal as a shower gift, or have your own baby's heartbeat recorded. Time is a precious thing, and we just don't understand until it is gone.

Record Your Baby’s Heartbeat

Before your baby passes, record his heartbeat. You can do it on your cell phone if you do not have a My Baby’s Heartbeat Bear yet. It is easy to transfer the recording to the stuffed animal you choose, and you will be able to have a tangible reminder that your baby existed. YOUR BABY WAS ALIVE. This small token may save you in dark moments, or it may help you smile throughout your life.

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Create a Special Place

A shelf or wall space that holds something you will always treasure. A beautiful urn, a painting, a picture, a quote or book can become a part of your décor that has more meaning than any visitor will ever know.

Document Your Pregnancy

Take photographs and journal your days. They are words you may reread thousands of times.

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Hire a Birth Photographer

Birth photographers have an eye to capture the most poignant, beautiful, and emotional of moments. Tiny toes, little lips, all of your tears deserve to be documented.

Make Hand and Foot Prints

There is no limit on how many imprints you can make. If your heart wants 10 prints, make 10 prints.

print

Lauren Self, a mother who lost her first baby at 22 weeks gestation, treasures the prints of her angel. Above, a picture of her angel and her rainbow.

Relate Something to Your Baby

Perhaps the colors of the nursery, or a color you have linked to your baby. Use these colors on your nails, a special painting, in your clothing, or on your Christmas Tree (or other holiday tradition).

Create a Shadow Box

Preserve the hat, socks, blanket, and anything else that you placed on your baby. You can have a shadow box created or you can do it yourself. Even if you don't have clothing to save, think about other ways you can artistically design a shadow box, like this one found on Etsy:

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Wear a Piece of Jewelry

You can have a drop of your breastmilk turned into beautiful jewelry. You can also wear a charm, include ashes in a sealed locket, or have treasured words stamped onto jewelry plates. This sealed piece holds ashes, but you can also seal a note or other small item.

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Name Your Baby – and Display It

If your baby will not make it to full term, that does not mean the he is not deserving of a name of his own. No matter what stage of pregnancy you learn of your child’s diagnosis, take time to name him. You can have a piece of art created with his name, or you may decide to hang a stocking for him each year.

Get a Tattoo

This one is not for every mother, but so many choose a permanent form of art be placed on their skin to keep the memory of their child with them. My personal favorite is a small elephant, as an elephant never forgets. (I traced this photo everywhere but could not find the original source. It is simple and beautiful.)

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Plant a Tree

A rose bush, an oak, or something that will continue growing throughout the years may provide you a background for family pictures – a background that will also include your angel.

Young plant in the morning light

Share Your Story

Never be afraid to talk about your baby. You, my friend, are an amazing mother, and you know that your baby will always be apart of you.

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In Loving Memory of Mercy. #MercyPink

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I just wanted to say THANK YOU! I love your products and the shipping is always fast. Also, thank you for all the extras you send with the shipments. The quality of your items is always the best! Thank you!

Tom Costas

4/10/2025

★★★★★

Totally recommend 100% great gifts and customer service is amazing. Thank you so much Breann for assisting me! I got my grandmother the angel bear singing happy birthday from her mother who passed away last year. She would always call and sing happy birthday to all her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. ALL of them. Never missed one. And this helped her to still have that last year and many years to come.

Kayla

3/15/2023

★★★★★

Where to begin. My son Davin was stillborn last year and I was for fortunate enough to have had his heart beat recorded. I found healing in taking My Heartbeat Bear animals and adding weight to them for other bereaved parents to have something special to hold and cuddle. I’ve since started a non profit called Our Baby’s Legacy for pregnancy and infant loss support, and these weighted animals are a big part of what we do.
The product My Baby Heartbeat Bear makes is really great quality, which is extra important for me considering they may become some parents most cherished possessions after their loss. The animals are super soft and I absolutely love the vintage design where they are floppy and cuddly, and just the perfect size. I also love that there are so many choices, I’m always touched by why one parent chooses one over the other. Seems like a small feature, but to be able to choose a cow because thief nursery was to be barnyard themed, or a bunny bc their baby was born in the spring, is something very special.
I also have found working with the company to be a wonderful experience. Sheldon is who interact with most. When first setting up my account he offered a free sample and has since sent me samples of other items by them. I’ve had to call and add last minute animals to my order or request they be processed ASAP and he and the other staff have always been very accommodating.
I can’t say enough about how easy they make my job. they don’t likely know it but they are making a massively positive impact in the bereavement community with these animals through Our Baby’s Legacy. The animals bring light and comfort into the lives of an otherwise dark and broken place.

Sarah

10/22/2019

★★★★★

I own at 3D ultrasound studio in Myrtle Beach SC and everyone LOVES this heartbeat buddies! They are so soft and cuddly and I love all of the vintage inspired ones. Thanks so much for such a great product for my expectant mamas!

Whitney

7/17/2019

★★★★★

I ordered the gender reveal "egg" frame for my daughter and her husband to use this past weekend and everyone just LOVED it! Everything in the shop is just AWESOME! I have a feeling I'll be ordering more things very soon. Thanks so much.

Toni

4/10/2019

★★★★★

I love my pink bear. 💜 it have it on display in my daughter's room. she loves listening to her heart heart from when I was carrying her 5 years ago.

Brianda

1/16/2019

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