How to Stay in Love After Having a Babyby Elizabeth MacDonald
It is so easy to lose sight of a beautiful love throughout the journey of parenthood, especially during the hard days, weeks, months, and even years after having babies. The foundation can be cracked and broken, it happens every day.
But, it is rarely what you want to happen. If the love is there, there are several ways to help it evolve after having a baby.
How to Stay in Love After Having a Baby
Change is inevitable, and so is fatigue after your baby is born. With exhaustion comes arguing and failed expectations. This can break any couple down, but the key is to recognize, rebuild, and become a team. It doesn't hurt to smile every day, too.
- Talk. Communication is key. Finding your own way to talk will help you transition from each stage of the relationship. No one communicates perfectly, so give grace and continue to talk through everything.
- Ask for Help. Instead of getting mad over little things, speak up. Ask for help at home, work, and/or with the baby.
- Reevaluate Often. It is quite typical to think you are on the same page, but actually be reading two very different books.
- Budget Together. Finances are the number one reason couples argue, struggle, and split. Money needs to be understood by both individuals and agreed upon regularly.
- Understand that a Lasting Relationship is Never 50/50. Anyone who tells you this is lying. There will be periods of time that you carry your partner through a struggle, and other times that he carries you.
- Do Not Expect Perfection. Let go of what your parents expect, what your friends have, what the magazines say, and what the world thinks is right. Find happiness together and pave your own way.
- Patience. Having a newborn or infant creates sleepless nights and frustrated adults. It will call into question lifestyle, habits, and other things you had never thought about before. It will open your eyes to just how little your partner may actually be helping. The hormones do not help either. Hot showers, meditating, naps, and emotional conversations may all be needed to make it through this period.
- The Minds of a Mother and Father are Completely Different. What is blaringly obvious to one, may not be noticed by the other. This is not done on purpose, but it can be a true problem in some relationships. Instead of using it as an excuse, embrace it and understand that you need to work on being able to show your partner what you see, and he needs to do the same for you.
- Do Something Together. Exercise, read, take up a new hobby, or plan date nights. Knowing you are both spending time thinking about the same thing can bring you closer - and give you something to talk about.
- Don't Forget to Have Sex. Explore the new body the baby has blessed you with, and let your partner love every inch of you.
- Remember One Another. Send silly text messages, a seductive email, or simply a $20 bill with a note saying, “Grab a beer with a coworker today. You need a little break.” Your partner needs to know he is still on your radar. And that should be reciprocated, too.
- Expect bumps in the road, challenges, unexpected events, and moments that will devastate you. This is life, and life is messy.
And always... always dream together.
- Dream About the Future Together. Have goals and plans. Get lost in one another’s passions and support each other until they are reality. Then dream again.