When and How to Announce Your Pregnancyby Elizabeth MacDonald
I need to preface this blog with the caveat that every woman is different. There is ABSOLUTELY no wrong way or time to announce your pregnancy. Shout it from the roof tops, or keep it to yourself until baby arrives. Whatever you decide, just make sure that you are happy and feel supported and loved. Pregnancy is a beautiful journey. A journey that you can take with whomever you choose.
There is something about finding out that you are pregnant that makes you the worst secret keeper. From the moment that test is positive, something comes over you and you have to hold your hand over your mouth to keep from screaming through the bathroom door. Let’s be real, quite a few women go this route.
I woke my husband up (NOT quietly) at 4:00am to confirm the reading of the faintest second line known to mankind with our first baby (which he politely labeled the “maybe test” before falling back asleep).
Once the initial “MUST TELL SOMEONE” urge fades, you can take a moment and start thinking of actual fabulous ways to spread the word. Of course, here at My Baby's Heartbeat Bear, we believe the greatest way to share your news is with our Heartbeat Bear Kit! Record your baby's heartbeat in one of our gorgeous stuffed animals and have the comfort of hearing it everyday and keeping it forever.
Announcing to Your Partner
IF you managed not to shout about the possible pink line from the toilet, congratulations! Now you get to creatively tell your partner that he (or she) will be a parent. Try not to overthink and make this too hard for them to figure out (ie: a dinner of baby sized foods that he eats without noticing any sort of theme). An always popular announcement is a wrapped positive test (but – ewww. A little bit gross), maybe go with a wrapped “I Love Daddy” onesie instead. If he happens to be at work, be careful of your announcement timing. A selfie of you with the test (or you with a jar of Prego sauce) texted at the wrong time could possibly cause a meeting to go wrong! One thing is certain; your partner deserves to know as soon as possible. Share the excitement. Even if you feel he may not be over the moon, give him the chance to prove you wrong. Be honest, raw, and share your feelings. Once both sides of the partnership are on the same page, you will need to decide when and how you would like to tell your parents.
Announcing to Your Parents and In-Laws
Waiting for an ultrasound picture, hearing a heartbeat, or calling as soon as it’s an acceptable hour of the morning are all common ways couples tell their parents. Soon-to-be grandparents can be the most fun to share the news with! Take an old jewelry ring box and place a pea inside, wrap and present it to your parents. As they open the box, with great question and curiosity, let them know that their grandchild is currently the size of a pea. You can tie a baby shaped balloon to their mailbox with a note stating the expected arrival date of their grandchild and let them find it as they check the mail. Skype or facetime with your parents and casually drop comments of your symptoms into the conversation, and seal the deal with a very subtle, “All this kid wants is salsa!” Truthfully, you could present the pee’d on pregnancy test and most grandparents would shout with joy!
To Your Other Children
Remember that children cannot keep secrets. Once you have told your four year old, everyone from the gym child-watch person to your mailman will know. (Ask how I know this. Go on, do it.) That being said, kids have a sixth sense over these things. They start asking questions about babies and somehow, they just KNOW.
After a miscarriage, we waited until our dating ultrasound and brought the kids with us to see our rainbow baby. They were confused at first, but our oldest daughter quickly realized what was happening, and when a heartbeat filled the room she yelled “That’s a BABY!!” I’m pretty sure that moment will be remembered forever. If your little one isn’t talking well yet, throw a big brother shirt on them and let the congratulations come rolling in!
To Your Family and Close Friends
Tell family before facebook.
Tell FAMILY BEFORE FACEBOOK. (Or Instagram. Or Snapchat. Or ANY social media platform.)
My current favorite idea is to bring everyone a bottle of wine (or your adult beverage of choice) and ask them to hold onto it for you. You’ll have a glass in 9 months together.
To Social Media
Facebook and Instagram have become a runway of competition for parents-to-be. Each announcement wording and picture is better than the last! Carved pumpkins, retiring the bikini, overturned wine glasses labeled “bar closed,” siblings being promoted, dogs on guard duty, an extra pair of shoes, a tricycle, calendars with a date circled, and the famous “bun in an oven” can all be found by scrolling down my social media walls. Have fun with this announcement. Remember that social media is NOT your real life. So do not stress too much over the perfection of the picture!
A few notes before you announce
- Be mindful and kind to those who have lost a pregnancy. You may want to tell them prior to a formal announcement. Call them or send them a text. A friend will be overjoyed for you, BUT her own feelings of sadness will surface too. Let her know that you love her and are there for her.
- If this pregnancy was unexpected, stay positive and happy. People feed off of your emotions. Ignore comments that can get under your skin and welcome the support from everyone handing it out!
- You are pregnant with #4,5,6, etc. Others may look at you strangely and even question if you know what causes children. (Duh. Obviously you do – and obviously you enjoy the act of making a baby.) But you are a pro by now. Take it all in stride and shout your news from the roof tops!