Here I sit, holding my 48 hour-new baby boy Ollie Jack.  I have been typing, deleting, and restarting this for hours now. The truth is, this birth experience was almost so indescribable, I could not find the words. I am still digesting, processing, and sorting it all in my head.  I’m actually hoping that by sharing it with you, I can wrap my mind around the entire event. As you know, we were planning a beautiful, peaceful homebirth for baby #4.  I have a few blogs lined up about the blessing way that was filled with women who love and support me, how we set up the birth environment to include music, inspirational birth décor, and even the smells I’d possibly want.  I have blogs about birth photography, labor relaxation practice, preparing the siblings to take part in a birth, cultural birth traditions including belly blessings, henna, and candle making.  I even have a blog about my midwife being my lifelong best friend, and how that changed my pregnancy and labor outlooks.

When losing a baby to still birth, there is nothing more precious than the time you are granted to hold your baby.  These are the only moments you will have to create a lifetime’s worth of memories.

This image shows a far superior breast pump to the one we all know and hate.  The pump in the background is what we know.  It is loud, semi-painful, unflattering, time-consuming, and "utterly" ridiculous. (Like the pun there? Yes, I referred to the pump as if it was milking a cow. I'm that good.) The future may be here mamas!  I feel a bit ridiculous that after birthing four babies, I didn't think to update the breast pump.  That being said, I wish the amazingly brilliant couple behind the company Babyation who created this ingenious idea all the best - and all the glory that comes with changing the breastfeeding world!