How to Support a Friend Through Miscarriage or Loss
When I experienced the loss of a pregnancy at 10 weeks along, I wasn’t sure if I even deserved to talk about it. I felt as though others who did not understand would think, “10 weeks? That’s not even the second trimester.” And then the cramping and labor began. The emotions of the entire experience are indescribable for anyone who has not lived through a miscarriage. Yes, my 10 week old fetus was real. The tissue that I passed confirmed that I could not just forget about the pregnancy. My heart was broken. Actually, I have never felt heartache such as this before. It’s as if you are hit with the brick wall of realizing you will never meet, hold, or know this little life that you created. Every woman’s loss will be personal. It will occur differently and expose unexpected emotions. There is no ‘better time’ to lose a pregnancy, and it is no one’s right to make a mother feel ashamed for mourning this loss. It is happening every day, and to 1 in 3 pregnant women. It should not be brushed under the rug and left unspoken about. The process of grieving is real. If your friend or family member is experiencing a miscarriage, it is important to be there for them. Yes, the words are hard to find. Yes, there will be tears and emotions. Yes, you may feel awkward. But you are needed. Going through a miscarriage is hard; there is no other way of saying it.